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Joke of the Day

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"The Republican Party has shown its support for the mentally ill by nominating Trump for President! Well, support for at least one of them. (here come the trolls and bots)"

"Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know."

"Narrator: ""Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution"" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]"

"A farmer was in a field with his cows, he counted 196 of them.... ..... but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Maybe the baby wasn't on board. Maybe the baby was against the whole thing."

"how to hot dogs: 1) ""read"" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink"

"Today's youth are getting worse.. Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle"

"Frostbite!! It snow joke!!"

"""Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning."" -me, speaking to this leftover pizza."