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Joke of the Day

"When the smog clears over Los Angeles... ... U.C.L.A. I am not at all sorry for this joke. Edit: So at some point I went from 20 to 923 upvotes. I regret not checking this sooner."

"Pickup line: ""Hey girl, is your dad in jail?"" Because if I were him, I would be."

"How did the Hispanic secret agent introduce himself? Bondo. Jaime Bondo."

"The French name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter translates literally to False Butter Has Entered Our Home"

"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"

"Whats the difference between a sly pig and a yeast infection? One's a cunning runt....."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? .... 'Cause they're ugly and they stink."

"How do Mexicans cut pizza? Little Caesars (say it out loud)"

"My girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob She's allergic to nuts"

"I went out with a girl the other night who turned out to be really weird I guess the fact that she said she was a communist should have been a big red flag"