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Joke of the Day

"Y'know, a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided with a little foresight by the city planners. All they had to do was make that town big enough for the two of them."

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"So, a byslexic guy walks into a dar..."
"I often antagonize black people in hopes they call me a jive turkey."
"The guy who invented the velcro died last week RIP"
"I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive"
"What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion Edit: thanks for all the love, appreciated"
"Does anyone want to come over and stare at our phones?"
"Thor isn't able to stay in hiding long He's not a very loki guy (yeah, still a bit iffy on the wording)"
"Sometimes in the mornings I have dirty thoughts about a dead girlfriend Mourning wood"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO RAP? I WILL RAP! - how I threaten my kids"