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Joke of the Day

"I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive"

"Hey girl, are you magnesium iron silicate hydroxide? Because you'll be cummingtonite"

"I used to love The Village People until they came at me with torches. -Gay Frankenstein"

"What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year? Pure Heroine by Lorde."

"What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend? Boo bae! (Read aloud please)"

"How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!"

"Her: I can't cook because, I ""believe"" I can't cook. And you want to know what makes me believe that? Me: The arrival of the paramedics?"

"On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot"

"What's the difference between a sausage dog and a market trader? One bawls his wares out on the street..."