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Joke of the Day
"So, a byslexic guy walks into a dar..."
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"Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster."
"If you're not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever."
"*stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh"
"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful,everything is falling out from the other side."""
"I just invented a new word: [plagiarism](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/277604/i_just_invented_a_new_word/)"
"[new euphemism]: ""As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"""
"OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BOSS: I don't know you. Do you work here? ME: *sips wine* No. HIM: So your wife does? ME: *sips his wine* Again no."
"Why do squirrels swim on their back? To keep their nuts dry."
"Why are there no gays in a mental asylum? Because they can't wear a strait-jacket."