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Joke of the Day

"I stole my friend's kidneys one night he'd be pissed, but he can't"

"I'm sick of women staring at my spaceship. It's like, HELLO, my tentacles are up here!"

"I met a new paleontologist today... Fascinating young lady, called Diana Saw-Hunter."

"I bought these shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"#1: My personality is 30% the last movie I watched."

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"So Cologne, Germany during WW2 was bombed and decimated by fire. I am sure the fire smelled pretty nice."

"why are the fish taco and chicken taco always friends? Cause there's no beef"

"They say there is safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million jews"

"My gym sent me home for following their motto it's confusing, they need to change it to ""go hard and go home"""