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Joke of the Day

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair? Cancer"

"My signature move is signing a piece of paper."

"no actually it's called an ""african-american"" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a Mexican? Jesus didn't have a bunch of tattoos of a Mexican..."

"5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true."

"Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up? He was charged with battery."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in."

"I lost a leg to a guy named Amir... God damn, he's good at playing darts."

"So two guys walks into a bar.. One of them says ""Ouch"""