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Joke of the Day

"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."

"Me: Gonna go see Gym. Friend: You mean go to the gym? Me: No, Gym is Geoff's brother."

"There was a man who left a boombox on a mountain. The rocks were rocking on."

"1st Cannibal: I don't know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot ?"

"Was forced to have a threesome with a clown and a grizzly. Just had to grin and bear it."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak!"

"Guy: Can I get your number? Me: I kill plants for fun"

"I just started the tequila diet and I'm making great progress! I've already lost 2 days!"

"What you shouldnt answer when a parent asks you what to do if their baby wont stop crying I dont know, just foogle it"

"I used to have a real thing for posh spice.... It cost my mum a fortune in saffron."