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Joke of the Day

"What you shouldnt answer when a parent asks you what to do if their baby wont stop crying I dont know, just foogle it"

"whats the difference between an old dirty subway and a lobster with breast implants one is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean"

"Ok No Loitering sign, let's get one thing straight: the type of people who loiter are not the type of people who know what loitering means."

"What's the worst thing about sex? Buffering."

"Most irons aren't made from iron, which ironically is both ironic and unironic."

"What does a panther say when it steps on ants? ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT~~~ dedandead-annnnnt #^#$^ d-d-d-deadant."

"Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list."

"I never chase a man. I always go for the ones who are too fat to run."

"What did the milk say to the cheese? Hey, you're old!"

"With Girls Gone Wild bankrupt wild girls no longer have a home. Many of them will be put down. Please. Adopt a wild girl. Before she's gone."