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Joke of the Day

"I just started the tequila diet and I'm making great progress! I've already lost 2 days!"

"What goes around.... still goes around, because life is a b**ch"

"Santa is the ultimate hipster. Works one day a year and spends the rest of the year judging you."

"How to get laid: HAHAHA you guys thought I get laid for a second there."

"I bet you guys want to hear a joke about my penis. Nevermind, it's pretty long."

"Please don't directly insult people on Twitter. Use passive aggressive, indirect insults only, like a damn adult."

"I like my women like I like my ice cream... Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer."

"Please write my tombstone in Comic Sans font."

"Burger King: Have a chicken fry again! But Sensei, I thought they could arways fry"

"I have a useless talent."