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Joke of the Day
"Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes? 'Cause all their pants are half-off"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone. A bitch will sleep with anyone but YOU."
"Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol."
"The font for alphabet soup Is times new ramen."
"What was the old man in despair about? Nothing."
"Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning Because I can't get out of bed."
"What's the difference between a group of intelligent midgets and a girls xc team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."
"[Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue"
"I can sum up EVERY Presidential debate in 4 words: Same Sh*t, Different A$$holes."
"WHY DID THE PRISONER TYPE IN ALL UPPERCASE? THEY WERE SENTENCED TO CAPITAL PUNISHMENT."