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Joke of the Day

"Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes"

"Somebody in my gang is an undercover police horse. I've narrowed it down to Dave, Kyle and Sugarcube"

"This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]"

"My wife was on eBay this afternoon... No bids yet"

"Did you hear the one about to car that lost its tires? Apparently it was in a wheel hurry."

"Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail? She couldn't stand making Kermitments"

"What's the difference between Pink and Purple ...your grip."

"Just did some crunches while hugging my cat Just trying to get purrfect abs"

"I want to be important enough to receive a phone call, say one word, hang up and having the end result being something blown up."

"Just like Jesus I can walk on water, if it's cold enough."