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Joke of the Day

"Just did some crunches while hugging my cat Just trying to get purrfect abs"

"All our pigs are learning karate. Oh I don't believe that No? Well just watch out for their chops."

"My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats."

"""Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem,"" I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct"

"How do you recognize a rich ethiopian? He only wears Rolex around his waist."

"I was gonna make a dubstep joke... But I dropped it."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"

"An unsharpened pencil... ...is pointless."

"I went to the zoo the other day... They only had a dog. It was a Shih Tzu"

"So you kill them with kindness but then what do you do with the bodies WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODIES SO MANY BODIES OH GOD"