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Joke of the Day

"This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]"

"""I'd do filthy things to that Princess from Star Wars"" *""What, Leia?""* ""Well obviously - but I was thinking more of a rim-job and a soapy titwank"""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender."

"Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk."

"What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!"

"Why did helium get into a fight with neon? They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try."

"Yo mama so fat... When she poops, her shit colides with the water and creates legible gravitional waves through space and time."

"Did Ilean ever get in touch with you? ""Ilean who?"" I lean over and you kiss my ass!"

"Had a terrible nightmare last night... I dreamt that I was forced to eat two huge marshmallows. When I woke up this morning, my pillows were gone!"

"What's dirtier then fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring."