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Joke of the Day

"Why was Hitler late to his meeting? He couldn't HEIL a cab."

"Never seek the dead for guidance. They give really cryptic advice..."

"Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper."

"FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same... work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?"

"How do you get an elephant on a train? You take the ""S"" out of sub, and the ""F"" out of way. [Say it out loud]"

"I think the professor wants us to skip most of this essay Or maybe I'm just jumping to a conclusion."

"I'm reading this amazing novel called ""Dictionary"", I'm only halfway through but I'm pretty sure the Zebra did it...."

"What is the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches..."

"Two cannibals were eating a clown.... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey, does this taste funny to you?"""

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."