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Joke of the Day

"Never seek the dead for guidance. They give really cryptic advice..."

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"How are one out of three American Boats born? By Sea-Section."
"I heard a crazy train engineer in Mexico killed a bunch of people last week. Yeah. He had a loco motive."
"A nurse goes to write something down, reaches into her pocket and takes out a rectal thermometer ""Ugh, some asshole's got my pen!"""
"What belongs in the bank and doesn't exist? My tax refund."
"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association"
"I told my son about the birds and the bees... He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect"
"Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*"
"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"
"I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin."