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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?"

"I asked Ness (of Earthbound and Super Smash Bros. fame) what his favorite TV show was... His reply: PK Blinders!"

"TRUMP: I'm gonna lose, huh? RYAN: Yes. [silence] TRUMP: Thank God. RYAN: I know TRUMP: I'd be SO bad at it RYAN: We literally all might die"

"If David Bowie were alive today... he'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing. Except I usually hope my device turns back on."

"A Priest and a Rabbi... see a little boy bent over. The Priest says to the Rabbi: ""Should we fuck him?"" The Rabbi says to the Priest: ""Out of what?"""

"What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away."

"Some people may call me an agnostic but I'm a God-fearing man -- afraid she might exist"

"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!"

"Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim? Be careful, they say he's still at large."