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Joke of the Day

"Facebook tells me today is ""National Winnie the Pooh Day"" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office"

"I tried uploading my sex tape to PornHub. They told me to try Vine."

"Jury duty [Burps] Wow, excuse me. Judge: You're excu-STOP THAT!"

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb One American to hire a Mexican to change the bulb and other 323.99 million to complain about outsiders stealing their jobs"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? You mean you don't know?!"

"What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs? A pair of polegics!"

"Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend."

"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."

"Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend."

"Hilarious Email Signature Sent from DOM control panel by (name) If you wish to say ""no"" to future emails, please click here However, please bear in mind that ""no"" does not always mean ""no"""