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Joke of the Day

"Jury duty [Burps] Wow, excuse me. Judge: You're excu-STOP THAT!"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish? Lightbulb."

"Why did the window blush? Because it could see the weather changing."

"Guys, the USA is looking pretty bad... I think its time for USB."

"LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it."

"What did the leper tell the prostitute? You can keep the tip"

"What happens if you play a country song backward? You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up."

"What's the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald? The Joker only killed people in Gotham City."

"When you turn on a light and the bulb burns out it's because you suck and that bulb would rather kill itself than hang out with you."

"At a job interview: Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses? Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it? A: I'm lazy to list them all..."