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Joke of the Day
"Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend."
Next Joke
"INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put ""has dominion over bees""? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off"
"I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters"
"Have You Heard of the Arabic Santa Clause? No? Me either. It's because he's on the No-Fly list."
"A man walks into a barn The horse says, ""Why the wrong place?"""
"A businessman becomes a president Seriously this is a fucking joke"
"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"
"Hitlers gonna hitl"
"It's awful that those other chipmunks force Alvin to wear an A on his sweater just because he's an adulterer."
"Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?"