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Joke of the Day

"So many people say ""if my memory serves me correctly"" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory......."

"People tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to them."

"Why did the Romans build straight roads? So Indians couldn't build corner shops."

"What song does a dwarf pimp sing? high ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go"

"my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work"

"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."

"Do you know 25% of woman are seeking help for mental issues? That means 75% are not getting the help they need"

"Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins? They both share the trophy"

"My previous relationship was like a presidential term. It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!"

"Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane."