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Joke of the Day

"A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates... The pessimist says ""It can't get any worse"" and the optimist says ""Oh yes it can!"""

"What is an astronaut's favorite power tool? An orbital sander"

"Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon."

"Jokes written by kids (xpost from /r/funny) http://imgur.com/a/hyQna"

"A hammock is really cool until you try to get out of it. I'm going to have to live here now. Goodnight."

"Best part of Donald Trump giving you a hand job. His little hands make your dick look bigger."

"Why didn't the shy juggler perform at the circus today? Because he didn't have the balls!"

"DATE: [whispering in my ear] i've got a secret ME: [also whispering] is it tacos DATE: [giggles] no ME: can it be tacos"

"I'm starting a talent agency that only represents those dudes in rap videos that just sorta stand around looking all hard."

"What has four wheels and flies A Garbage truck"