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Joke of the Day

"If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs"

"Do your socks have holes in them? No? Well then how did you get your feet in them?"

"having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house"

"My password is my pussy Because apparently my dick isn't long enough"

"Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder."

"How do you confuse a gay? Seven"

"My grandmother used to wakeup and head for the bathroom . along the wat she would say with a raised voice 'o Jesus christ' Soon after my grandfather passed away she asked me to move the coffee table"

"If attacked by a mob of clowns... Go for the juggler."

"What happens when a sweatshop gets busted? The entire outfit is compromised."

"Ellen Pao walked into a bar The bar bent. Bartender served her 3 sets of jumbo meals. Bartender had to repair the door."