154316

Joke of the Day

"Do your socks have holes in them? No? Well then how did you get your feet in them?"

"What do people with huge penises eat for breakfast? Well, I had toast. EDIT: me and /u/Nekovivie weren't expecting you to know. cuz^you^have^a^small^dick"

"On the train... A girl sneezes. you: ""bless you."" she: ""sorry, i have a boyfriend."" voice from a few seats behind you: ""i'm a vegan."""

"Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm."

"I have a friend who is really into Christianity... ...he goes to church religiously."

"You know how some people call their erect penis a 'hard on'? What do evil midgets call it? A *minion*"

"A step-by-step guide: How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11"

"If you get pulled over for speeding on the highway, police are legally required to let you go if you tell them 'Black Betty' was playing."

"Cemetery I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy behind a gravestone. I said ""Morning."" He replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""

"Why did Tomato turn red from embarrassment? Because it saw Salad dressing."