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Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse a gay? Seven"

"How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January? He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey."

"How do you make holy water You stab it with a knife over and over"

"The lobotomist ran off with my wife... And I think he took off with my better half."

"[me narrating a documentary about the pyramids] I really want a Toblerone for some reason."

"I'm no expert on Masturbation But I hold my own."

"I'd try to commit suicide, But I'd probably fail like the rest of my life."

"I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni."

"Saw a guy who wears a turban and who was coughing loudly I think he was Sikh"

"*reads menu for reasonable amount of time ""I'll take the food."""