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Joke of the Day
"My password is my pussy Because apparently my dick isn't long enough"
Next Joke
"Why does a white guy go to a brothel? For pleasure. Why does a black guy go to a brothel? He's looking for his mother."
"The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now."
"Les Miserables was pretty good but I wish I'd had some kind of warning that everyone in it would be so unhappy."
"*Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*"
"Anyone who says, ""I have never been this offended in my life"" has probably been that offended hundreds of times."
"In honour of Agatha Christie, turn off all the lights and kill one of your work colleagues."
"Do you want to get dinner sometime? Sorry, I said that wrong. Do you want to get me dinner sometime? Like deliver food to me and then leave?"
"To the people complaining about my tweets. Sorry I'm not justifying your monthly subscription of $0"
"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."