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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother used to wakeup and head for the bathroom . along the wat she would say with a raised voice 'o Jesus christ' Soon after my grandfather passed away she asked me to move the coffee table"

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"when it comes to birth control, an ounce of prevention is worth about 6 and a half pounds of cure This should be here instead of r/funny"
"*me loggin into twitter* I'll have to bypass their security system *types in password* bingo"
"A baby seal walks into a club... and is escorted outside due to being underage. (Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen this joke here before.)"
"So... I want Ebola cereal... "
"As a lubricated finger was pushed into my anus, I couldn't help but think... That this wasn't any ordinary vet."
"A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts ""look no hands!"""
"*shows up to date with broken nose* ""What happened?"" Hurt myself playing football ""How?"" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back"
"Best joke I've heard in a while 63071"
"Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday"