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Joke of the Day

"No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again."

"How did the toad die ? He simply croaked !"

"Check up I went for a health check-up the other day, the doctor said, 'you've got to stop masturbating' I said, 'Why?' He said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you'."

"How do you make an elephant float? Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend."

"Wanted to share a Coke with my friend Amal But the closest name I could find was Juan. But I guess if you have seen Juan then you have seen Amal."

"3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?"

"Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with."

"This is the rare tweet that history will look back on much more favorably than how it was received in its own time period."

"What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border? A Mexi*can't*"

"I used to feel like a man trapped in a woman's body then I was born."