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Joke of the Day

"My wife says if this post gets thousand upvotes, we can do anal. I'm tired of the other posts. It's me in her."

"""Money isn't everything,"" I say, poorly."

"Two nuns are discussing their love lives.. when one nun asks the other, ""So, do you ever start smoking after sex?"" The other nun replies, ""I don't know, I've never looked."""

"Lance Armstrong revealed this Tour De France will be his last, again. Not even Brett Favre believes him anymore."

"Did you hear about the soldier with 8 limbs? He was army"

"How do you stop a deaf women from telling anyone you raped her How"

"What about breakfast teaches us the difference between ""interested"" and ""committed""? In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Just 1.... Or 2...?"

"[updating CW's iPhone] M: You need more gigs CW: I don't need no gigs I got a job Having a smart phone doesn't make you smart."

"I went to a girl and was like ""I'd like to take my rocket to Uranus"" She detached the final stage"