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Joke of the Day

"What about breakfast teaches us the difference between ""interested"" and ""committed""? In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed."

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism"

"A bear walks into a bar the bartender said ""What would you like?"" and the bear said ""I want... a beer please"" then the bartender said ""Why the big paws??"""

"How to make holy water You boil the hell out of it."

"My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards."

"My boyfriend thinks I'm not funny. Whatever, at least I'm a real person."

"Did you hear about that Air Asia flight? Air traffic control didn't."

"Last night I dreamed of a color I had never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination."

"Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both are in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!"

"why don't women wear watches? there's a perfectly good one on the stove"