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Joke of the Day

"[updating CW's iPhone] M: You need more gigs CW: I don't need no gigs I got a job Having a smart phone doesn't make you smart."

"""ring on the wrong finger"" A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? . B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

"Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me."

"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."

"[car dealership] ""Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?"" *Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* ""Oh."""

"What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there."

"Anti... ...Cipation!"

"If life gives you Melons... ...you may have dyslexia. (not my joke, but fun all the same)"

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" And it was at that moment when Peter broke down in tears, having realized that his mother's Alzheimer disease had finally reached past the point of no return."

"Give a woman an inch and she probably won't call you back."