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Joke of the Day

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Just 1.... Or 2...?"

"It's said that if you look directly into Chuck Norris' eyes you can see the beginning and end of all things...... but no one has had the balls to try."

"I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?"

"You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk."

"They say diarrhoea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans"

"The Government could have bailed out Hostess - by legalizing weed"

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"Do you think all these parents who named their daughters after flowers really gave much thought to how much teenage boys like to pluck?"

"Ryan had to go potty real bad, but the door to the potty was Lochte."

"What's it called when you wake up after a night of drinking and feel shitty? Being sober."