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Joke of the Day

"What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner? Nothing. She's dead."

"[first date] Her: know what you're getting yet? Me: a burger and one of those coloring menus. Her: oh, you have a kid at home? Me: no."

"If i was stranded on an island with a fully functioning plane and a runaway,, I'd still be stranded on an island."

"[Ouijja Board] What is the meaning of life? S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E *Squints at board* What the heck? A Bee Gee board?"

"4-year-old: Are hot dogs made from real dogs? Me: Would you eat them if they were? 4: No! Me: 4: Unless I had ketchup."

"What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters? The Post Office"

"Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him moody."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to a party? because he was a fungi"

"Why do black men hate posting on reddit? Because they can't deny that their comment was the parent."

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."