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Joke of the Day

"If i was stranded on an island with a fully functioning plane and a runaway,, I'd still be stranded on an island."

Next Joke
 
"Someone just caught me picking my nose at a stop light. Had to just cut my losses and run the red light."
"If anyone is living vicariously through me, you just bought yourself Flintstones chewable vitamins."
"I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat."
"My girlfriend and I really like the alphabet I kept 25 of the letters but I gave her the D."
"What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!"
"Old Texas cowboy in a pharmacy Cowboy: ""Give me three packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah. She ain't that ugly."
"There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman."
"""Got any drugs or alcohol on you?"" ""yup, I'm all set. Thanks Officer"""
"What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet!!"