159285

Joke of the Day

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."

"What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."

"JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games."

"A man was arrested for marrying two ugly women... He was charged with pigamy."

"I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?"

"If ""Clue"" came out in 2015, there'd be a fourth ending where the killer is gluten."

"-I can't stand liars and fakes -You are so pretty -See? Why can't everyone be honest like you"

"Do you know why donuts have a hole in them? Because the baker made them with love. ^^^^^also ^^^^^why ^^^^^they're ^^^^^glazed"

"A genie appears to a blonde woman and offers her one wish. The blonde says ""You know, I've slept with more men than I can count. I wish I knew exactly how many it was."" The Genie replies ""Four."""