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Joke of the Day
"Why did the mushroom get invited to a party? because he was a fungi"
Next Joke
"How did Helen keller's parents punish her? Put a plunger in the toilet"
"At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the ""I have a PhD"" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye."
"Saw this movie about Jewish people this afternoon.. It had a hollow cast."
"My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell ""ARF, ARF"" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth"
"If I've given you a card at your birthday party, know I bought it a half-hour ago and signed it on the dashboard of my car 5 minutes ago."
"TIL How to Time Travel And man do I miss Reddit."
"I wondered how the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."
"""Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!"" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]"
"If you walk into a zoo and steal a duck do they call it stolen mallard?"