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Joke of the Day

"How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 11, 12"

"I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths."

"What kind of batteries do stuttering Canadians use? Triple Eh's."

"Last weekend I prevented a rape. It didn't take much. You can do it too. [xpost /r/TwoXChromosomes] I kept it in my pants."

"The only folks who put them passwords on that fancy wi-fi internets is terrorists. This is Merica, land of the free."

"What's the difference between America any yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pea soup!"

"Does killing time damage eternity?"

"REMEMBER: It's not ""drinking alone""...if your kids are in the car with you."

"I get carried away sometimes. Because I refuse to leave."