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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if someone grew up in New York City? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting."

"What did the mathematician use to kill himself? An hypotenuse."

"Why are spiders so unproductive? Because they hang out on the web all day!"

"is it considered a threesome if i jack off with both hands?"

"Why should you use a 1 iron during a thunder storm Even god couldn't hit a one iron"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? because the 'p' is silent."

"What does a Jamacian call everything he owns? Meetings."

"If my teacher saw me staring at her from behind Then I was staring at her ass"

"when I was a little kid, my mom told me I could do anything when I grew up. that's why I'm suing her"