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Joke of the Day

"A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland... A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe."

"Where do animals go when their Tails fall off? The Retail store"

"After the explosion at the cheese factory... all there was left was de brie"

"Did you know? Statistically, six out of seven Dwarves aren't happy."

"You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it. Thank you TheAustr0naut"

"My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands."

"Mayweather is dyslexic, He's supposed to punch his opponent and hug his wife."

"So I brought a girl home from the bar last night... When we got to bed, she said ""Give me twelve inches and make me bleed!"" So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."

"A haunted house, but just with a bunch of mall kiosk guys chasing you with face cream"

"sex and air Q.why is sex a lot like air A.because it's a big deal unless your not getting any"