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Joke of the Day
"Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes."
Next Joke
"I'm one of those people that tried this at home."
"Jesus was such a hypocrite Preaches waiting for marriage and all that. Meanwhile he just goes and gets nailed 3 times in one day."
"""Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?"" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead"
"I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Our motto is: ""Hang in there, we can beat it."""
"Does Alfred masturbate? ... No he masturwaynes"
"Sorry I said, ""Whoa, hope he's good at math."" when you showed me your kid's finger painting."
"[at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*"
"The only reason I'm on LinkedIn is to find employed dates for the weekends."
"Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless"