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Joke of the Day

"[at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*"

"It's possible to suck at everything if you put your mouth to it."

"What do you call a normal potato? A commentator"

"Dot [limerick] There once was a woman named Dot, who lived off of pig-shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese, that grew on the sides of her twat."

"Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie... ... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"A man went to grab some Viagra... out of the cupboard, but accidentally grabbed some twink. He awoke in the morning with a correction."

"Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station? They wanted to get the lead out."

"What did the RAM stick say to the politician? I'm PC2!"

"What do you call a jackass in the mafia? A donkey."

"I love graphs! I used to be obsessed with them... I've calmed down now though, you've gotta draw the line somewhere"