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Joke of the Day
"Where do facts come from? The factory."
Next Joke
"Screenwriters, you know that script you're working on that's a mix between 2 brilliant films? Well it isn't and I'd like a grande soy latte."
"Just so you know, people who don't give a fuck don't talk about how much they don't give a fuck all the fucking time."
"I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo."
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, its heading straight for the World Trade Center."
"I don't understand how many blueberries you're supposed to eat in one sitting. 10? 2,000? There's no natural stopping point."
"Guy getting test results from his doctor and the doctor says ""we have some good news and some bad news"" ""The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you"""
"I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs"
"What's online, about to comment, and very judgmental?"
"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."