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Joke of the Day

"Guy getting test results from his doctor and the doctor says ""we have some good news and some bad news"" ""The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you"""

"I have good and bad news WIFE: Bad news first We need a new front door WIFE: And the good news? [points to Monster Truck in living room]"

"I thought about opening up a cemetery... but it seems like it would be a large undertaking."

"What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together? Poverty."

"Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest"

"I named my dick the truth, because the truth hurts, and you can't handle the truth!"

"Friends don't let friends talk about Pi Lest they become irrational."

"Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside."

"It's hard to find a good woman . * Smart * Sexy * Single * Sane Pick three"

"Surprises are always more fun... unless it's a baby. They tend to startle easily, so an ill-timed surprise may actually upset them."