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Joke of the Day
"You've probably heard this joke before. It's hilearious."
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"How does Kris Kringle clean his hands? Santatizer"
"What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson? The position of the dirtbag"
"How long does it take a black woman to poo? 9 mouths"
"gonna give my zombie friend several different brains for his deathday. Took a while to get the shopping done. Finally got some presents of mind."
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend."
"Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand."
"[my funeral] PRIEST: dearly beloved... *respectful silence from guests* PRIEST: ...and steve ME FROM INSIDE COFFIN: lmao get roasted steve"
"The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier."
"When I grow up and have kids... I think I will stay a virgin to set a good example."