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Joke of the Day

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend."

"It's like these fools at the gym have never seen a girl with roller skates on the treadmill before."

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?"

"I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater."

"eBay is so useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it"

"I was just making a sandwich when I thought to myself, So, there is a downside to divorce'."

"Why did the bible cross the street? To get to the other genocide."

"Got told this at work today all the guys thought it was funny and so thought iI'dput it to the vote? What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."