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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson? The position of the dirtbag"
Next Joke
"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find their mom? Because she is Trans-parent! (Not hate. Just a pun I thought of.)"
"""any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?"" [I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic] HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?"
"Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?"
"They say marriage is like a three ring circus ... There is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering ..."
"Why are life long overweight people funny? Growing up they hear the best jokes."
"If someone doesn't respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don't love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly."
"I'm usually exited for winter... But then I get cold feet."
"Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head."
"Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization."