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Joke of the Day

"The lack of proof that Robert Downey Jr is stalking me just convinces me that he is very good at it."

"Alton towers changed its name! To leg - go land"

"""You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?"" -Jesus #GoodFriday"

"Sex is like bowling It can be great by yourself, but it's always better with multiple people."

"Why did the circus animals go on strike? The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share."

"I really hate pretzels Some would even say I'm Anti-Anne's"

"Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off? Ferguson!"

"I forgot to bring my bags to the grocery store, people looked at me like I drove there on an aerosol can, then slit a baby seal's throat."

"I'm anti-thesaurus, for lack of a better word."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer this morning... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"