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Joke of the Day

"My friend graduated in psychology with a 3.8 GPA I wish she'd stop telling me her life story and just give me my order of fries already."

"What do you call a disappearing President? Hocus POTUS"

"I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear."

"Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen? Because it has microwaves"

"Sad to hear of the passing of Liesl von Trapp at the age of 73, going on 74."

"What's green and has wheels? The grass. I lied about the wheels."

"What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"Doctor: you gotta cut back on the drinking Me: but why? D:*lifts up x-ray* says here your liver has officially been sponsored by Grey Goose"

"What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer? A Tattoo."

"No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries"