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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a disappearing President? Hocus POTUS"

"Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why ? Michael: She can't bear to stop talking."

"My closet should be on Hoarders. Fell in looking for second shoe. 45 minutes later I had to cut my left arm off with a plastic hanger."

"What happens when you piss off a pepper? They get jalapeno business."

"What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go."

"Ordering a decaf coffee is like ordering a picture of food"

"I finally figured out what I want to be when I'm older... younger."

"Cat lovers Their pets also qualify for the obnoxious neighbor award."

"How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car? In an ash tray"

"If you haven't logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now."