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Joke of the Day

"Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen? Because it has microwaves"

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"A shampoo manufacturer had an accident. ..he suffered injuries to his head and shoulders."
"Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%"
"Did you know that West Virginia's state sport is sex? It's a game the whole family can enjoy!"
"Justin Bieber just compared himself to Kurt Cobain. When Kurt Cobain finds out, he's totally going to kill himself."
"Whenever someone says, ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes."
"Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter."
"If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents."
"What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog."
"3849. Buying picture frame. 3850. Changing batteries in flashlight. 3851. The X-Games. 3852. Scotch tape. (List of most exciting things.)"